Sunday, September 11, 2011

Finding Peace....



I'm not quite sure how to start this post or even what exactly I want to say...but here goes.  This is painful to write, but since my blog is part of our family history, I'm just going to be honest and write what comes to my heart....

As I mentioned previously, my mom was diagnosed with dementia.  (I lost my Dad to Alzheimer's).  Both  are terrible diagnosis which can rob you of your loved ones in a long good-bye.

While we were in Ohio, my mom's disease spiraled out of control, to the point where we became a true irritant to her.  The disease won and drew a "line in the sand" in our relationship.  My mom is receiving the best care that can be provided at this point and from there, I'm placing her in God's hands and trust and have faith that He will bless her in meeting her needs that I just can't meet.  There's a lot more I could write about how awful this situation is and how truly sad I am - but, I'm trying to be grateful for what I do have and  not focus quite so much on what I don't have (and never again will have) in a relationship with my mom.  It's a burden that we as a family have been challenged to deal with and we'll cope as best we can.

I have to say that I have the best hubby and son in the world...they have shown me nothing but compassion and unconditional love.  I pray that I might reflect their grace with me onto others...  Having said that, I just have to share what my sweet Ian did for me...my not-so-little son bought these beautiful flowers to help cheer up his mama.  This was such a touching gesture on his part - and I might just have to remember this the next time he gets a little lazy and barks a little bit about keeping his room clean.  :)



As I love to do, I have turned to my stitching for comfort. There's just something about the rhythm of putting floss to fabric that soothes me.  This is my progress on Little House's "Battle Hymn of the Republic".  I'm heading towards the finish line on this one and hope that I can do a happy dance before too long.  :)



Hug your family and hold them close - let's never forget how 9-11-01 changed each of us...  There truly is no place like home...

I *cherish* my faith that sustains me through the trying times...

Hugs,
Sharon















7 comments:

Hillery said...

I'm so sorry, Sharon. My heart goes out to you. My Grandfather went out with dementia, and it broke my heart to see such a wonderfully smart and ambitious man go like that. It really isn't fair to all that have to endure it. It is wonderful that you have such a great support system.
God bless you.

Myra said...

Hugs to you. You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. I can't begin to imagine how difficult this is for you.

Deborah said...

Dementia is a horrible illness. My heart goes out to you and your family. My prayers are with you.

Gillie said...

I am so sorry, Sharon. We don't have dementia in our family we have cancer but I know it must be truly dreadful for you seeing your mum. Much love from across the big sea and may your stitching continue to engage you. And a hug for the boy, that was a sweet gesture. Mm, boys' rooms can be a problem, can't they, lol?

Vonna said...

Praying for your peace and for your Mother's too.
Your WIP is wonderful and what a wonderful way to soothe the soul.

Siobhan said...

Oh, big hugs Sharon. I'm sorry I'm just reading this (and commenting on) now. I am always behind on my blog stuff! I hope you will remember that you did the best you could and that your mother is getting good care and being taken care of. You need to focus on you and your immediate family. My MIL had a stroke last summer and we don't know if it's the stroke or the trauma of losing her husband in December that has caused the beginnings of dementia. She's always been a handful and a half and that was evident to me, maybe because as the DIL I had to put up with it, but I think her adult children are just seeing it now for the first time. She has turned nasty towards her sons, telling them, among other things, that she wishes she only had daughters, etc. It is really sad to see. Like I said, she's always been a handful, but I know they're all finding it hard to take. Her care has taken a lot out of the daughters who live close by her. I just encourage my DH to remember the love that he had for MIL when she was fully with it and not so hateful, but I know it's hard.

Anyway, my heart goes out to you. Hug that son of yours, too--he sounds like a good guy.

Michele said...

Big healing hugs Sharon. I can't imagine how hard this is for you, especially being it's our mom. A couple of my coworkers have lost parents to dementia and from their stories, it's such a hard thing to go through ... for everyone.