Thursday, October 06, 2011

A cartload of pumpkins

I can honestly say that these were pumpkins stitched in pain.  My mom's dementia has reared it's ugly head in a way that none of us saw coming.  She has decided to shut members of her family out of her care.  She doesn't want us involved in any way in her care or her life.  I have had so much pain over this...the more I try to get in, the further I get pushed away.  I've realized (after much prayer and many tears) that there is just nothing I can do at this moment...I am locked out of her heart (and her life and her medical decisions) and I don't have the key.  She has changed her power of attorney, her will and her medical directive.

I have had more than a few rough days lately.  Bless my hubby's heart - at my lowest point, he told me not to worry, his faith can be big enough for the both of us right now...that made me love him even more than I ever thought possible.  I also want to say thank you to all those who have taken the time to leave a comment, e-mail me and think of us or say a prayer.  I am more grateful than you could ever know, please believe me.

Some of the brightest things that have come out of this awful mess is that I've gotten close to my sister and brother-in-law and my sweet great aunt, who is an angel who walks among us.  If you ever need to be lifted up, go visit my great aunt...she makes homemade candy that tastes like it should only be served in heaven AND she gives the best hugs in the world.  When you leave her home, you know you're loved, no matter what.  My faith is also growing - some days even when I don't "want" it to grow....it stretches to meet my needs.  I am trying to "cast my burdens on the Lord" but in my human-ness, I keep trying to be a control freak and taking them back.  My life and faith is a work in progress - - - I think I've finally started to accept that.  The serenity prayer keeps coming to mind...

Now, on to my pumpkins!  This was a fast, fun stitch for me and I loved stitching with the Autumn colors!  The fall hues are always my very favorite colors to work with.  :)

This will probably be my last "finish" for a while.  Every year, I always stitch Christmas gifts for various people in my life.  With all the on-going turmoil, we've decided just to go the gift-card route this year for everyone except hubby and son.  I want to just stitch for fun and relaxation, not on a dead-line. Hopefully next year, I'll have lots of gifts made and ready to go.

Ian loves wolves and asked me to stitch a wolf for him.  He picked a design that he really likes so I'm having fun getting started on that.  I think I'm going to try and make 2012 the year that I really concentrate on finishing some of the designs that I have in my stash.  Somehow, a lot of UFO's have made it to the bottom of my stitching basket and I'd like to get them finished.   It's easy to say this now...just wait, I bet a bunch of designers are out there right now working their magic, creating more patterns that I'll "have" to have and make me blow my resolution right out of the water.  We'll see....  :)

 Again, thanks so much for all your support!

I "cherish" each and every one of you!

Hugs,
*Sharon










6 comments:

Gillie said...

I cannot imagine the pain, Sharon, I am so sorry. Bless your husband, he sounds like a fine Godly man. So glad that out of all the pain and sorrow there is a little joy in getting closer to your sister. Not stitching to deadlines sounds like an excellent plan. Many hugs to you all.

Claudette497 said...

You poor baby! I'm so sorry about how this is going. I'm praying for you to receive the peace that passes all understanding.

Vonna said...

Thinking of you Sharon, and praying for you and your Mama too. Sometimes the only thing we can do in any situation is pray and this definitely seems like one of them. I'm so sorry....

Your pumpkin finish is delightful!

Shari said...

hugs to you........I cannot even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling...that is awesome what your husband said..what a man!!!
the pumpkin piece is gorgeous....love it....

Meari said...

((hugs)) So sorry to hear about the hurdles with your mama. Hopefully, she'll have a change of heart.

Your pumpkin finish is adorable.

Lisa Dunn said...

Sharon, my heart goes out to you. I can just imagine the kind of pain you must be in now. But remember it is the disease that is causing your mother to react that way, not the mother you knew. Alzheimers is just a strange disease that makes people act and react in strange ways. It is really hard on the family. I'm glad you have found a strong support system in your family.

Your pumpkins are beautiful!