Friday, April 27, 2012

Trying hard to "cherish"



The last couple of months, my word of the year, "cherish" has been mighty hard for me to abide by.  My time away from my blog has been filled with bad news from Ian's Dr.'s.  Ian has a tumor on his skull  that is rapidly enlarging.  We knew this before, but this thing just seems to have a mind of it's own and is starting to cause major issues.  Surgery right now is planned for mid-to-late June.  The Dr.'s want to give Ian a bit more time to (hopefullly) "beef up" a bit before he undergoes this MAJOR surgery. 

It's so hard to explain, we've know about this tumor now for a while - we've seen it on x-rays, cat scans and mri's, we've talked to multiple Dr.'s about it and on some level, we know that we've seen it.  It's on the left side of his head - above and to the side of his eyebrow.  It is clearly noticeable to everyone - it protrudes from his head.  But somehow, we just haven't really "seen" it - until now.....We had Ian's pictures taken yesterday.  For some reason, when we looked at the pictures, we SAW it - really SAW it.  Way out of Ian's view, I lost it...totally lost it. Hubby did the same thing.  When we look at Ian, all we see is Ian's beautiful not-so-little face.  We just see Ian - not the lump, we just see Ian.

I'm scared - sometimes I feel like I'm so scared, I can hardly breathe.  I'm trying so hard to "cherish" my life...but it's so hard right now.  I do "cherish" being Ian's mama - oh, how I "cherish" that!  I "cherish" having wonderful Dr.'s and good insurance.  I "cherish" my family and friends who keep lifting us up.  Hmm...there are definitely things that I DO NOT "cherish", but I guess somehow we'll get through those things.  I do not cherish this tumor!  I do not cherish running out of chocolate in the house, I do not cherish hominy grits, I do not cherish snakes....but, the "don't cherish list is MUCH shorter than the "do cherish" list....and at the end of the day, I guess I "cherish" that...

We would be most grateful for any prayers, good thoughts, etc that you could send his way.  Please add his name to any prayer lists that you know of...  We are going to storm the gates of heaven and "cherish" having Ian be healed and whole and get him back to being Ian!

Hugs,
Sharon

18 comments:

Ranae said...

Many, many good thoughts and prayers for Ian and your family
I do believe in the power of pray and that Ian will be healed
(((hugs)))

Claudette497 said...

So sorry the news isn't better. Sending prayers your way.

Faith... said...

Praying for you guys Sharon.

Hillery said...

Sorry to hear that things are still as they are. It is so sad to hear, especially about children. Sending prayers out for you. Hoping the surgery goes well. I have a friend who's little 2 year old went through this and is a happy, healthy 4 year old.

Xeihua (Sara) said...

I'll be sending my prayers to Ian and your family... and hoping that he gets better after the surgery so that you can have even more things to "cherish" and less things to "Not to"
Big Hugs

Carolyn said...

Oh my goodness, Sharon! I will definitely add Ian and your family to my prayer list. That's the least that I can do, and I do believe in the power of prayer.

Sending you hugs from Texas. I know it's not much, but they are heartfelt.
:0)

Chocolates4Breakfast (TerriBoog) said...

I cannot imagine the pain you are experiencing. I pray thht God touches Ian with a healing hand ant that He gives you all the strength you need to keep on fighting. You are all in my prayers.

Margaret said...

Oh Sharon. I'm so sorry about the tumor. I will be sending prayers and good thoughts for Ian's surgery and recovery. We went through something similar with our DS when he was 14 -- a lump on the side of his neck. I pray that you will have good results as we did.

Meari said...

Sending postive thoughts to your family during this trying time. Keep up your cherishing... It will help :)

Mary Ivancicts said...

Sending many many prayers your way.

Valda said...

Keeping Ian and your family in my prayers!

Always smiling said...

Every blessing for your son Ian.

Read back and what lovely stitching, those wolves are fantastic.

Chris xx

Chris said...

Sending thoughts and prayers for Ian and your family.

Nancy in IL said...

Sharon, I so cherish how you have poured out your heart and your deep, deep love for your precious Ian. To actually SEE the tumor had to be shocking and disturbing for you to face head on like you did. To have all this upheaval in your life makes it hard to cherish the things you have to be thankful for, but having friends who want to send positive thoughts and prayers your family's way is something to cherish for sure. Just remember that the power of prayer is real and cherish that you would have little hope without all that you DO have going for you and without the prayers that Ian will survive this. Bless you all, Sharon!

Milly said...

Hello

I'm new to your blog.

I just wanted to say how sorry I am to hear about Ian and that you will be in my thoughts.

Linda K's Creativity Works said...

Praying for your family...I am so sorry to hear about Ian...that is so terrible and so very sad. Hang in there and I know its very hard to do right now.

Thank you for your comments on my Seasons.

Hugs :)

capecodgirl565 said...

I will certainly be praying for your Ian. It is such an awful feeling as a parent knowing there is only so much you can do while you want to fix everything and would give everything you have to achieve that. Best wishes and prayers to Ian and your family.

Beth.. One Blessed Nana said...

Praying for your precious boy! May the sweet Lord minister to your family during this trial.