Saturday, July 28, 2012

Where to Begin?


Oh my goodness, firiends...my time away from the blogging world have been some of the most challenging moments of my life.  I'm not sure where to start, so I'll just dive in...

First up, Ian was scheduled to have his brain surgery on June 7th, but just before the date arrived, he came down with an ear infection, sinus infection and bronchitis.  We're waiting for the surgery to be re-scheduled, so the poor fellow is still waiting to face a tough recovery.  I still feel like I have a guillotine hanging over my neck - I know fear doesn't come from the Lord, but I also (HOPE!) that the Lord understands that we humans are frail and especially when we're facing a health crisis, we sometimes have a hard time really depending on Him alone.  I'm trying.....

In the meantime, my mom had a health crisis of her own and needed to be moved to an assisted living facility. Mom has severe dementia and diabetes.  Her health is frail at best.  To say that mom didn't want to be moved to assisted living is an understatement.  Bless her heart, she fought every step of the way.  It was hard to see her have to leave the home she had known for many, many years, but it reached a point where it truly was our only option.  The crisis came when mom "escaped" from the facility.  Apparently, a staff member had left a side door open and mom saw her "escape" route.  She was picked up by a police officer who was on patrol who noticed her wandering on and off the road and looking very confused.  He took her back to the assisted living facility and they weren't even aware that she was missing!!!!  Obviously, this meant that the search was on for a new facility for mom.  In the meantime, mom had developed pulmonary embolisms and needed to be hospitalized.  She is still in the hospital but we're hoping that she'll be able to transfer to her new home very soon.  Mom's dementia has reached the point where she doesn't recognize anyone or understand her surroundings anymore.  She actually lashes out at me whenever I try to get close, which really gets her agitated, which isn't good for her.  It's so hard - I hate this disease - I feel like I'm mourning the "loss" of my mom, but yet, she's still alive.  The emotions are so hard to work through....

While we were in Ohio, taking care of mom, we were caught right in the middle of the "freak" storm that plunged so many states into darkness in the grueling heat.  SO NOT FUN!  I know losing power, water, access to food and gas is never fun, but the fact that it happened right when we were dealing with mom was just overwhelming.  Not a fun month, I tell ya!

We were able to get mom's home cleared out and ready for sale and got a quick sale for full asking price!  (God did send us rays of sunshine to hold onto during the dark days!!)  :)   Our real estate agent was stunned that, in this economy, we actually got more than we planned for!  We're hoping that now that mom won't be "double-dipping" i.e. having the expenses of keeping her home up and running AND having the expenses of assisted living, her budget will support her comfortably.   At the same time, it was very difficult to be going through everything in the house - so many memories.  It was also hard to sell my childhood home...I know I'll keep the memories in my heart, but it still was hard to walk away and shut the door for the last time.

All that to say - I'm so grateful for my sweet hubby and son who endured so much the past couple of months on behalf of my mom.  In the hard times, I was never alone - I was blessed even during the darkest of times (pun intended - the power was off part of the time we were there!  LOL)  I know God always has my heart, but again, sometimes, it can be pretty easy to forget that even when we feel we can't find Him, He always knows where we are.

It feels good to be home again.  We LOVE Florida and as a wonderful bonus,we have the sweetest friends and neighbors.  They are extensions of God's arms around us!  We're sort of in "decompress" mode this week.  We plan on  spending lots of time on the beach.  I have a lot of fun "beach reads" that I want to catch up on.  I also am planning to STITCH!!!!  My needle hasn't been put to thread in over a month - I MUST stitch!!!  Honestly, stitching is so soothing to me - I've missed it so much and can't wait to have needle and thread meet fabric!  Hopefully, I'll have some progress pics to show in the next few days!

Thanks for listening, my friends.  It's helpful to write all this down - cleansing, perhaps?  As ever, we'd be most grateful for any prayers or thoughts sent out on our behalf.  Between Ian's upcoming surgery and mom's "issues" - this is a struggle for us...we'll make it, I'm sure...but it never hurts to have extra friends along on the journey. 

I've missed you all - I'll be around to catch up on your blogs soon!

I "cherish" memories from my past.....

*Sharon